Thursday, 23 September 2010

INTIMATIONS - Anoraknophobia - waist(less)land of style dystopia

Le geek c’étais chic, but nerd couture is le futur.   

Whizzkid you not, designers are hijacking the sky high sci fi archives and have taken geek getup to astronomical new levels.  After they twisted the twenties, thieved the thirties, forged the forties, lifted the fifties, sapped the sixties, snatched the seventies, ensared the eighties and nicked the nineties, they had nowhere to run.  Apart from into the wide-open, desperate arms of the geek.  

Us fashion lot borrowed your boffin braces, spazzy specks, tragic trousers and haphazard hair and immortalised them gems in our cool people fodder.  So thanks, it’s been real swell, but, turns out that the it crowd won’t wear whatever we print.  This could be down to a nasty leak.  Maybe an inside job.  Or some fashion aide left her laptop on the train.

That or we were just playing a joke on you.  Yep.  We did it for a laugh.  An experiment to see if you would really believe that you were right all along, that the trendy world would accept you for what you look like, that the morning of your social isolation had broken, that Nerdcore was like music to our ears and that we too wanted to think outside of the Xbox.

Truth is we are a fickle lot and it’s a dog wearing dog world out there.  But before we say adieu to yu and toss you into a wheelie bin like an unsuspecting cat, we would like to drain your brain.
See, according to Wikipedia: ‘One cannot be an authentic nerd by imitation alone; a nerd is an outsider and someone who is unable or unwilling to follow trends’.   

Now we know, what you look like is of no further use to us.  It’s the inside that counts.  So c'mon, this is a stick up.  Give up your Futurama, Red Dwarf and Robot Wars goodies or the signed, Limited edition Digimon trading card gets it. 

Fact:  Who needs Trinny when you've got Tron
Fiction: This dress will protect you against MRSA
Fashion:  2010 has been a big year for super talented Holly Fulton.  She not only won Young Designer of the Year at the Scottish Fashion Awards but was also victorious at the Elle Style Awards, taking home New Designer 2010.
Verdict: Holly is rinding a mega big wave.  Luckily she's got the best motherboard on the beach


Fact:  I wrote about by Manish Arora on a previous post
Fiction: ET went home and lived happily ever after. 
Fashion: Actually, he was flewn cattle class to India where he was made into this dress
Verdict:  Good call.  I'm into recycling

Fact:  We are not impressed with people microwaving hamsters
Fiction:  We are impressed with people turning hamsters into mini clutches
Fashion:  It's a cut-throat business, especially if you are a fox, marten, beaver, wolf, stoat, squirrel, hare, lynx, sable, sea otter, seal, rabbit...
Verdict:  There are still tigers left, why Chewbacca?

Fact: I love ANYTHING Christophe Decarnin touches.  
Fiction: No, this dress is really real
Fashion: is Balmain
Verdict:  I love ANYTHING Christophe Decarnin touches.  Even a poo

Fact: Blade Runner is box office failure turned cult classic, the perfect school geek revenge fantasy
Fiction: Boris Johnson turned down the part of Pris
Fashion: Zhora would approve of YSL's vicars and Scottish widows party
Verdict: The thenth commandment reads: 'Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours goods', but it looks like Stefano Pilati has borrowed some bling from 50 Cent

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