Wednesday, 17 June 2015

INTIMATIONS - burn before wearing

some things are destined for the blazing inferno that saves face.  from the second the pencil touches the 125gsm non bleach sketchpad to the last hour of the failed sale, these items of clothing will become streaked with mac fond de teint, their zips bust, seams frayed (all testament of dashed hopes, 'what could have' been battle scars) or worse still remain in mint-not-a-soul-thought-i-was-tasty condition,  these shop floor dust-bunnied misfits are doomed, no matter what their projected kudos and value imbued.  if they are not adopted at the blue cross by someone who recognizes themselves in the maimed old mutt, they will either be put down an unmarked grave or burned at the stake to eliminate the threat they pose to the perceptions of the fickle fashion pack.  the annihilation of surplus fashion baddies is less famous and indeed less celebrated than guy fawkes night.  though the origins of this particular ritualistic bonfire are far less noble, its flames burn bright still, for this is a time dishonoured tradition: destroy in order to protect a socially imagined, tenaciously managed therefore accepted 'reputation'.  after all, we wouldn't want any old tramp sleeping rough in a marni fur coat with a tinnie of special staining the silk lined pocket!  no these objects will return from whence they came; ashes to ashes, dust to dust, whimsy to whimsy.  i have even picked up on a rumour that design houses/retailers who shred their surplus stock rather than torching it, supply stuffing for airline seats. you may never get to wear a chanel designer dress to a cocktail party, but you may well spill your in-flight bloody mary on it!

now, despite, and perhaps thanks to, my past excesses, i am something of a post WWII throwback when it comes to use and reuse these days.  it would stand to reason, therefore, that i have set the scene to cast aspersions on this shameful waste of our finite resources and on the frivolous human exploitation in the creation that precedes the destruction of the unwanted thing.  yet, some things really are such an embarrassment that not even a designer label with price tag to match can validate or excuse their existence.  there is, however, some comfort in the knowledge that even a carefully controlled, perfectly pr-ed, multi million fashion house make mistakes.  i am also encouraged by their mo being akin to my own, namely brushing blunders under the not so magic carpet.

being a fashion buyer is largely speculation, yet these 10 'ne fait pas le con' fashion fromages should never have been allowed to stink up the www.  i, a natural born stylist, have come to accept and even find merit in most fashion manifestations, but i cannot wait to board an easyjet flying machine and let rip on the below abominations




post scriptum: i have omitted almost all references to burning brands as i do not wish to piss on anyone's bonfire.  i am certainly not suggesting that marni partakes in arson around

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